Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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