I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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