Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize