when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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