i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
