you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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