This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
