and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
