Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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