Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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