So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
