woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
