i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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