He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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