break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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