How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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