I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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