We're facebook friends in real life
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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