its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize