i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
