It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
