ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
