Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My feet surprised me
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