do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
