So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize