my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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