Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
