i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
