Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
