Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize