i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
