pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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