I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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