They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
