He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
