I am full of burrito and curiosity
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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