You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
NoShamevember. You game?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
