I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
