i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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