You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
jump out the window naked night went bad
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
