awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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