Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
