I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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