I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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