the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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