like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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