the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize