I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just google imaged poop.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
