What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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