So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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