We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
