i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
