Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
