Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
