Me. At least after what I've been through.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
well you can't waste a boner
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
