Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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