it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
